Young Men in Crisis Pt. 1

About a month ago, I wrote about the dilemma of Christians in modern culture, particularly young men caught in the crosshairs between feminism and the occasionally-chauvinistic reaction to it. The conclusion I came to was that we needed to, as Christians, be faithful to follow Christ in His beautifully paradoxical nature and calling. Essentially, we could not afford to go along with a feminizing culture that seeks to erase masculinity. Nor could we afford to poison said masculinity in the name of reacting to said erasure.

Since publishing that article I’ve been thinking about young men and our culture quite a bit. I’ve had conversations with other people about some of the specific challenges that young men face in our culture and perhaps beyond.

There are, of course, a number of challenges that plague young men in our culture. But the simple bottom line is, as John Stonestreet has said on Breakpoint, “the young men are not okay”. Challenges are to be expected. But young men in our culture are not just facing normal challenges of growing up and making their way in the world. They are facing a crisis across wide swaths of the demographic.

Rather than dig deep into the maladies contributing to this crisis I’d like to express some pillars that I think every young man in our culture needs. In the process, the maladies will no doubt emerge into the conversation.

I think there are four pillars in particular that I want to address. And they are intertwined in two pairs of two. So if you can stretch your imagination enough to imagine two sets of pillars that are threaded together that’s the visual I’m shooting for. If you can’t visualize it, don’t worry.

The classic caveat must be provided off the bat: Christ is the only foundation for our lives and He is ultimately what every young man needs. Of course, the following four pillars must be based in the person and work of Jesus Christ. In fact, we shall see exactly how these pillars are firmly grounded in Jesus and the Gospel.

The four pillars are as follows: Freedom from Shame, Fellowship/Community, Kingdom Vision, and Endurance/Discipline/Resilience. I think that freedom from shame and fellowship/community go together as integrated pillars. Can’t have one without the other. They both feed each other in a symbiotic way. Likewise, kingdom vision and what I’ll call “resilience” for short, go together as integrated pillars.

This article will focus on the first set of pillars: freedom from shame and fellowship/community. Another article is (hopefully) soon to follow which will examine kingdom vision and resilience.

Freedom From Shame

Shame has been a human problem since the very fall of Man.

Google defines shame as “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” I would define shame as that feeling of needing to hide, not necessarily from fear of danger but because of the conviction that one must hide the inadequacy one feels.

The classic example here is found in Genesis.

In Genesis 2:25 we read that Adam and his wife were “naked and were not ashamed” (emphasis added). However, just one chapter later we read that “they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths” (Gen. 3:7). After they sinned they became ashamed and felt the need to hide themselves, not just from God but from each other.

I believe that in a culture rampant with pornography, sexual promiscuity, irresponsibility, and messages that constantly teach young men that they’re not enough, there is no shortage of shame for young men. Whether it is a secret sin that haunts their conscience or the multitude of critical cultural voices that beat them down, young men are constantly faced with their inadequacy and the shameful desire to “hide” from it.

Based on what I wrote in the above paragraph I think it is hardly surprising that young men are “checking out” and “disengaging” from society. They are dropping out of college, dropping out of the workforce, and generally retreating into basements to play video games. Or worse, they are turning to drugs, alcohol, and suicide to “hide”, leading to a sharp rise in “deaths of despair”.

Young men need to be free from this shame that drives them, sometimes literally, underground.

The only antidote to shame, the only way to freedom from shame, is the cross of Christ.

Let’s return to Genesis for a moment. After pronouncing curses and promising the serpent-crushing seed of the woman, God clothes Adam and Eve with garments of skin from a dead animal (Gen. 3:21). This is the very first act in the history of the world of what will later be called “atonement” (kapar in Hebrew). This word is used throughout the book of Leviticus and it literally means “covering”.

In the New Testament, this “covering” is fulfilled perfectly in the atoning work of Christ which not only covers His people but effectually cleanses them. The blood of Christ, which cleanses sinners pure, is the antidote to shame. There is no need to hide before God if we are in Christ and under the grace of God. We do not presume upon this grace to cover our habitual indulgence in sin (Rom. 6:1-2) but we can stand before the throne with confidence that our Great High Priest (Jesus) has opened the way for us (Heb. 4:16).

Young men need to be transformed by this grace. This leads us to the twin pillar of Fellowship/Community.

Fellowship & Community

Young men in our culture are devastatingly isolated. The maxim “no man is an island” may be oft-repeated but is still sadly oft-ignored in practical application.

In a culture where it’s common to hear “we all need each other”, it’s equally common to see young men who have few to none close relationships. They may have “buddies” but there are many who have no real friends.

I think there’s a big connection between this and the factor of shame. The more men are filled with shame, the more they hide. The more they hide, the more they are naturally isolated. And the cycle goes on.

This is not less than deep friendships but it also includes more.

The passage of Scripture that has been on my mind the most in relation to this idea is found in 1 John 1:7-9. I’ve written in the recent past about this passage and the importance of “walking in the light”. But this bears repeating:

Our shame loses its power over us when we refuse to remain in the darkness and instead walk into the light. To walk in the light with other people is to enter into fellowship with them (1 John 1:9). Community is the byproduct of walking in the light. I believe it is also, in a large way, the catalyst of walking in the light. (Hence the close connection and integration between these two pillars in my model.)

This fellowship is not just “hanging out”. It is expressed in the Greek term koinōnia which refers to “partaking”. To partake requires commitment and deep association with others. You are “sharing” life with them. This includes the sharing of struggles and sins. It includes confession and repentance.

Let’s Review

So let’s close with a review:

• Young men, dragged down by shame, need to be freed from it.
• The only antidote to shame is the Gospel of grace and atonement from Jesus Christ, the spotless Lamb who bore our sin and cleanses us.
• Young men, isolated by shame, need to be in community and fellowship with other people (especially other Christians).
• When we walk in the light, we have fellowship with other (1 John 1:9).
• Confession leads to community and vice versa.

Stay tuned for the next installment of this thought which will focus on vision and resilience, likewise integrated closely with one another.