Is quiet leadership an oxymoron? Can a quiet, reserved person lead?
In our current culture, leadership is often associated with a commanding personality and an extroverted aura of authority. This perspective can be seen in how we view politics, business, and even romance. There are doubts that a quiet man can lead his family properly. Furthermore, there are questions about the ability of flexible men to lead, as opposed to assertive ones.
One thing is sure: leadership is active, not passive. It is decisive, not careless. Leaders accept responsibility, they don’t shift blame. However, this doesn’t mean that quiet men can’t lead their families, churches, communities, and countries. In fact, quiet men have special advantages when it comes to providing leadership.
As a quiet person myself, I’ve witnessed firsthand how hard it can be for people to place their trust in a reserved leader. If I’m honest, it can sometimes be frustrating to be doubted as a decisive, responsible, and strong leader because of my reserved disposition and quiet temperament. These experiences and observations have lead me to think more deeply on the subject of “quiet leadership”.
I’m convinced that all the lessons we learn about leadership and masculinity (among all other topics) should come from the expert himself: Jesus Christ. No man knows how to live life as a Godly man better than Jesus. No leader knows how to lead better than Jesus. He is the standard-setter in all areas of life, including leadership.
What does Jesus have to teach us about quiet men in leadership?
First, let’s face some fundamental facts: Jesus was human. Jesus was also 100% God-in-the-flesh. There’s no simple way to comprehensively understand this profound and beautiful mystery. It does have practical implications though. As a human, Jesus had a distinct personality. As God, Jesus was not bound by personality traits. The same Jesus who retreated from the crowds to find a moment of silence (Matthew 8:18) was the same Jesus who quite audaciously expressed anger in the Temple (Matthew 21:12). Jesus was a man who knew there was a time for silence and a time for loud and commanding words. I’m not trying to argue that Jesus was an “introvert” or that he was quiet and docile. Scripture clearly contradicts the notion that Jesus was aloof and shy. It neither depicts Jesus as a dashing, smooth-talking, “extrovert”. We run the risk of making God in our image when we try to define Jesus’ personality. The point is not that Jesus was one way or another. The point is that Jesus had moments of introversion, introspection, and quietness. This did not conflict with his authority, his responsibility, or his leadership.
The Quiet Men of History
There are many other examples of other quiet men who have exhibited extraordinary leadership.
President Calvin Coolidge was notoriously reserved, possessing a “frugality with words” that was “legendary”. Once, at a White House dinner, a young woman sitting next to the President told him that she had made a bet that she could draw three words out of him in the course of the meal. He replied with only two: “You lose.”
And yet, for his lack of dash-and-go, Coolidge was a very effective leader. His approach to the Presidency gave opportunity to the United States to bolster its economy and enjoy great prosperity. Coolidge was pragmatic and ordinary, sometimes to a fault, yet he was an effective leader for the country at the time of his Presidency.
Other examples could be discussed. It’s not that leaders like Washington and Lincoln lacked charisma. I’m simply pointing out that their charisma expressed itself gently rather than bombastically.
We need loud men to lead. We need quiet men to lead.