What is Masculinity? This question seems to be central to many of the most spirited public discussions in our culture at this moment. Corporations like Gillette create controversy with their contributions to the discussion, in the form of 90 second social advertising.
The rise of angry feminists, references to toxic masculinity, slogans like “#MeToo” and the movements behind them; they all reveal the deep brokenness of masculinity in our culture. Despite what they try to tell you, men are not simple. Masculinity is not as simple as loving sports and burgers. It’s not as simple as being ‘tough’. Being masculine is even more complex than simply having courage. It’s an incredibly misunderstood concept but one that is necessary to properly sort through.
I’m in the midst of that “sorting through”. One word that keeps coming up in my thoughts regarding the topic is “dominion.” The original purpose given to man, in Eden, was to “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion…over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28)
Dominion in this context does not mean dominance or harsh oppressive rule. It refers to the construction of a blossoming kingdom. Masculinity necessarily involves building something. John Eldredge notes three things that every man needs: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. I would add at least one more: a kingdom to build.
This kingdom-building mandate given to Adam is upheld by the tender nurturing of Eve. Our culture is terribly confused about the reality of masculinity. We have lost our kingdom-building, dominion-spreading heart. Toxic masculinity happens when the wilderness in a man’s soul is not directed towards conquering the wilderness of outer disorder and cultivating it, but instead is directed towards conquering other people through words, actions and attitudes.
I believe there is a natural urge in every man to take dominion and build something constructive. What that is and how it is built is an important element however. I think of it as planting a garden. (That was the original job description for the first man, after all, wasn’t it?) First, the ground must be subdued, brought to order. This requires strength, discipline and ruggedness. Conquering the ground is only half the job though. The seeds must be buried, cultivated and grown. This requires responsibility, intentionality and fortitude to stay consistent in tending to the growing garden.
In the same way, men are called to channel their rugged nature to conquer the wilderness around them, to protect and provide for their charges in the lawless world. They are also called to build something: a kingdom, a family, a marriage, a legacy. It’s a high calling.
These are just the beginnings of my thoughts on the subject. I hope to process through more and articulate in a helpful way. Until then, I plan on being more intentional about seeking dominion–staring down the wilderness and building a kingdom.